


you make me feel just right

by siriuslyuptonogood



Series: Sergeant Barnes and his Captain [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Dom/sub, M/M, Military, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-19 02:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriuslyuptonogood/pseuds/siriuslyuptonogood
Summary: Bucky Barnes is a soldier, a sergeant. He's also submissive and he's had to fight his whole life. He tested high, a rare level ten and has fought to go down just as hard as he's fought to become Sergeant First Class Barnes. He was happy, for a while, in DC with Sam Wilson, loved him, but Sam wasn't a 10. He struggled and Bucky could see it, could see how hard it was on him, so he broke up with Sam and took a transfer to a base in Germany.As a submissive in the army, he is required to go down every four weeks, either with a drop partner or at an off-site drop clinic. He tries, but he just can't go down, so he starts to pretend. He gets his paperwork checked off and he's okay... mostly. After eighteen months of not going down, Bucky finds himself crashing while doing paperwork with the handsome, incredibly kind and dominant Captain Steve Rogers who immediately takes action to help his crashing subordinate.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Sergeant Barnes and his Captain [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621582
Comments: 20
Kudos: 484





	you make me feel just right

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm really excited about this universe and expanding it! The levels range from 1-10 and teens are tested around their sixteenth birthday. I haven't quite figured out switches yet!

Bucky has always been pissed about being a submissive. The therapist his parents sent him to a few months after his testing said it was normal for a high-level sub to be unhappy. Normal to fight his need to submit. But eventually, he'd find the right Dom to take him down.

Only he really didn't. Sam was close, was wonderful. Bucky fucking loved him. The first time he felt so deeply about anyone. But Sam couldn't take him down happily. He could do it, but it left him exhausted. He didn't get the pleasure that most Doms did. He just had to work so hard. And Bucky tried to be good. He tried to give in, to submit like he knew he should, but every part of him screamed to fight, to resist. He never went down easy.

Sam was the first to not make him feel like shit. Was the first not to try to beat the sass out of him. It'd been rough before Sam. He'd had his mouth washed out. Tabasco on his tongue. He'd been slapped in the face, strapped across the tops of his thighs. But pain hadn't ever bothered him much. What sucked, what made him feel like absolute shit, was that he let Doms down again and again. Some made it known to him. But he'd already known from a young age that in order to be a good sub, he'd have to shove down everything that made him... him. How many times had he heard that he was a bad sub? Sam never said it. But enough before had that Sam didn't need to. Not when it was a constant refrain running through Bucky's head.

He tried a few times to be what he wasn't. But always broke. Sam wouldn't let him. Just took the brunt of it himself. Bucky was selfish with Sam. Stayed almost two years. Loved him. Wanted to spend his life with him. But at some point, he knew he had to go. So Sam could be happy.

Bucky broke his own heart and Sam's too, but he couldn't ruin his life anymore.

He took a transfer to a base in Germany not long after.

There were rules. Rules that only applied to submissives. They could be in the army. The law had passed just before Bucky turned eighteen. He was part of the first group in and he was proud. He'd had to fight, had to persist even when the soldiers around him didn't think he could. It wasn't a small thing being Sergeant First Class James Barnes. But he was still obligated to go down once a month. He needed a drop partner or to visit an off-site clinic. He'd tried both. No matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't get him down. But he'd faked it every time. He got his papers signed. He remained cleared for duty.

Sometimes he dropped by himself. He could feel it coming on. Would do everything he could to be in his room when it happened.

He knew deep down that this was all bad for him. That he had needs that he was ignoring. But if he couldn't make it work with Sam, wonderful, amazing, kind, loving Sam, there was no chance. He was destined to be alone. He came to terms with it and for a year and a half, managed to stay safe and undetected.

Bucky feels it in the morning. As far as these things go, it's not that bad. He is doing paperwork with Captain Rogers today. They aren't familiar, haven't spent much time in the same room, but Bucky hears he's good. He is kind and fair. It shouldn't be too bad. Bucky should be able to make it through the day.

He hopes.

Bucky is an idiot. He is an idiot of epic proportions. Eighteen months is a long time to go without going down. But he has gotten through all his minor drops so far. Why should today be any different? Only, for whatever reason, it is. He starts to feel actively bad after lunch. When the Captain notices, he feigns a headache. He takes the two pills he is offered and guzzles a bottle of water. It's not going to help.

He wants to finish up and leave, but there is so much to do and even though it's quitting time, Captain Rogers doesn't look ready to stop anytime soon. There are still piles to go.

"Captain," Bucky says finally when he feels a little like he is going to pass out. "I think that headache came roaring back. Mind if I finish for the day? I can come in early tomorrow to help get this done."

Rogers looks up at him, studying his face with those piercing blue eyes. He is handsome, god he's handsome. His blond hair is starting to silver, but that's the only signs of aging on the broad-shouldered, muscled Captain with the strong jaw and unwavering gaze.

"When was the last time you went down, Barnes?" he asks, tone calm, even.

Bucky closes his eyes and lets out a breath. "Two weeks ago," he says.

"Try again. Suggest you don't lie this time, Sergeant."

Bucky's eyes open and he looks at the man. "I go to an off-site drop clinic every four weeks as mandated by the submissive soldier guidelines. You can check my records, sir. I've never missed."

"Not the question I asked, Sergeant Barnes. One more try. When was the last time you went down?" Rogers says and Bucky wants to sink to his knees and appease that disappointed looking face. Which, unusual feeling for him.

"You ain't gonna like the answer, sir," he breathes.

"Barnes," a warning. Bucky can't help the whine.

"Not since D.C. Sir."

"Fucking hell, Barnes," Rogers says. And the look of disappointment is so much worse now. Like Bucky has let down everybody ever.

"I can't," Bucky whispers. "I try. I try to be good and obedient. But no matter how hard they hit, I can't go down. M'too difficult. I go. I go like I'm supposed to. And I try, sir. I promise I try. I... I just, just can't."

He startles at the feeling of a large, warm hand on his cheek, but he relaxes into it. The softness of it, how gentle this touch is makes tears gather in Bucky's eyelids.

"Can I help you, Sergeant Barnes?" The Captain's voice is soft as he presses two fingers under Bucky's chin, lifting.

Bucky looks at him for a long time, quiet. He swallows.

"I'll just let you down too. Make you work too hard."

"How about you let me worry about me, okay? Can I help you, James?" Rogers says.

"Bucky," Bucky says softly, leaning forward into the Captain's touch.

"Hm?"

"Not James, please. Bucky, sir. S'what everyone calls me. Don't know you have a chance in hell of taking me down calling me James. Don't even remember it's me half the time."

Rogers lets out a soft laugh, but nods. "Bucky," he says, then, "most everyone's going to be in the mess hall right now. Do you need help walking with me to my quarters or can you walk beside me?"

"Can walk beside you, sir," Bucky replies, standing. He is shaky at first and Rogers grips his upper arm to help stabilize him. Bucky offers him a smile of thanks and straightens. He's good, but Rogers doesn't let go. He gives a gentle squeeze.

"Listen to me," he says, "you're going to do exactly as I say, understood?"

"Or?" Bucky asks.

"No or. Just do as I say. You will walk by my side from here to my quarters. Once there, you will go into the bathroom. You will use the toilet. You will wash your hands and your face. You will then remove your uniform and hang it neatly on the back of the door before you come out and stand in front of me. Got it?"

There is no threat. No spoken consequence to not doing as he is told. It's weird to Bucky. Just quiet, clear instructions.

"Got... yes? Was a lot of instructions at once, sir," he says and is surprised to see the Captain's eyes crinkle, to hear him chuckle.

"Maybe one thing at a time, then huh? Walk by my side from here to my quarters."

And he does. Keeping step, focusing only on that until they reach the building that houses the unmarried officers. Captain Rogers lives on the second floor. He has his keys out before they reach the door.

"Good," says the Captain as soon as the door is closed. He presses a hand to the back of Bucky's neck, squeezing gently.

"The bathroom is through the brown door," Rogers says, "go in. Use the toilet. Wash your hands and your face. I want your uniform hung on the back of the door, understood? Then you come back out here in just your underthings."

"Yes, sir," Bucky says and he almost stumbles on his way, but makes it. He strips first. Easier to piss that way. Then washes his hands and his face. He's a fucking mess. His face is red, his eyes look like he's rubbed sand in them. Rough.

He makes sure his uniform is hung up. But he holds his boots in his hands, realizes he has no idea where they go. Did he miss an instruction? If he wasn't so strung out, he knows he would be able to handle this. But he can't. Fuck. He's ruined everything already. And that seems to be the catalyst because they drop to the floor, then he does. He shoves himself back into the shower. Wraps his arms around his knees. Tries to become as small as possible. To hide.

But Rogers finds him. Doesn't sound mad. Says his name a bunch of times and then manages to get hands under Bucky's armpits and pull him up enough that he can carry him from the bathroom. Bucky doesn't unroll, doesn't open his eyes until he feels something soft against his cheek and the weight of a blanket settles over him.

A bed. He is on a bed. Low lights. His heart settles, jumps again when a hand comes to rest on the back of his neck, but then he relaxes.

"Bucky."

Bucky turns toward the voice to look right into a concerned face.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Rogers asks, his hand moving down to rub small circles around Bucky's spine.

"Boots," Bucky whines, "forgot where you said to put them. M'sorry. So sorry. M'a bad sub." Tears start to bubble up.

Two hands cup his face. "No," the Captain says, tone firm, "I'm sorry. I didn't tell you what to do with your boots. I should have. This wasn't your fault. Even I'd you had forgotten. Even if you'd made a mistake, you wouldn't be a bad sub."

"Bad," Bucky whispers, closing his eyes.

Captain Rogers is quiet, then he sits up.

"Can you kneel for me, Bucky?"

Bucky doesn't want to move. He wants to stay huddled up under the blanket. Soft warm. But Captain Rogers grips him by the hair. Doesn't hurt much. Gets his attention. Makes him whimper. He lets himself be moved. First up, then off the bed, then to his knees.

"Good boy," Rogers says and Bucky wants to say he didn't do anything. That his hair is attached to his body and he had to go with it. But then his cheek is pressed against the Captain's outer thigh and there is no tug on his hair, just the feeling of gentle head scratches. And Bucky likes this.

"If you weren't so strung out, you'd have sassed me," Rogers says and not in a way that makes Bucky feel like it is bad.

"How ya figure," Bucky asks, eyes closed.

"Had a look on your face. Like you had a retort. Want to tell me what it was?"

"Mm, won't get mad?"

"Swear it."

"Didn't really have much of a choice with your hand in my hair n all," Bucky murmurs.

Captain Rogers laughs and reaches down to gently pinch his jaw. "Have always loved a mouthy sub."

Bucky opens his eyes and tilts his head to look at Rogers. "You'd get fed up eventually. Everyone does."

Rogers looks back at him with an unreadable expression but continues with his fingers in Bucky's hair. He's quiet. Bucky melts under his hands.

"Bucky, stay right here. I will be right back," The Captain says after a few minutes. He stands and leaves the room, leaving Bucky with a soft whimper on his lips.

He is gone so long. Bucky doesn't move, but he watches the door, waiting for Captain Rogers' big body to fill up the frame.

He's been abandoned. Rogers realized that Bucky Barnes is no good. The voice inside his head feels vindicated as if it knew all along that the Captain wouldn't last, couldn't stand to be around a fuck up like him.

Bucky feels a tap on his forehead and his eyes open fast. He throws himself at the Captain who, thankfully, catches him, letting out a surprised chuckle.

"You were somewhere else when I walked back in, kid," says Rogers, "probably not anywhere good. Can you stay with me a while?"

"You left first," Bucky huffs from where his face is pressed to the front of the Captain's uniform.

"I said I'd be right back. And I was only gone for three minutes."

"Felt way longer," Bucky grouses.

Another laugh. "Alright, alright. Up on your feet, brat."

Bucky, using Captain Rogers for stability, manages to stand. An arm clamps around his waist and leads him out into the small kitchenette. There is a card table with two chairs. In front of one chair is a plate of food that makes the whole room smell amazing.

"I'm going to feed you dinner. You can choose to kneel on the cushion next to the chair or you can choose to sit in my lap," Rogers says.

Bucky can feel his face go hot and he looks up at Rogers. He wants to sit in his lap. He likes the idea of being held and fed. But it feels like he is asking a lot. Sitting in his lap feels so intimate. Can he expect that? The Captain hardly knows him and has already gone so far out of his way to help out a fuck up of a First Sergeant and a dumpster fire of a submissive.

Another tap on his forehead. "Hey, stay with me. Tell me what you want, Bucky. Both options are fine, but you have to tell me what you want."

"Lap," Bucky says. "Sir."

"Good boy," Rogers praises, pulling him into his lap.

Bucky hasn't ever been fed before. And Captain Rogers does it without utensils. He puts pieces of teriyaki chicken into Bucky's mouth and doesn't seem to mind that Bucky sucks the sweet sauce from his fingers before he let's go. There are vegetables, mostly broccoli, it seems. And Rogers makes tiny balls of rice to feed him. Bucky eats until he is full and then presses his face to the Captain's neck. An arm circles his back, holding him in place like he is precious. And for once, he lets himself give into it.

Captain Rogers runs a damp cloth gently over Bucky's face, causing the sub to squirm and half-heartedly snap his teeth.

"Hey, hey." Rogers taps Bucky's nose. "Biting will earn you a trip over my knee."

That makes Bucky shudder and press against the warm body that holds him tight.

This has always started with pain. Right out the gate. With him on a bed or a couch, ready to take whatever he was given. It's started with a hand fisting in Bucky's hair until he yelps forcing him to his knees. But Captain Rogers hasn't forced him to do anything. Has given him instruction after instruction, but there has been no threat of punishment. He wants Bucky to do the things not because he will get in trouble, but because he wants to. Nobody has ever let Bucky want to follow instructions before.

"Hey brat, was that a good shudder or a bad shudder? Can you tell me how me saying I'd put you over my knee made you feel?"

Bucky considers. He thinks about it. If Captain Rogers flipped him over his lap right now, he thinks he'd like it. He thinks it'd feel good. And he'd have the Captain to hold on to. Different than being over furniture. If he bit him first and was flipped over, he thinks it would be less good. He thinks he'd cry. Because it would feel like punishment.

"Good and not," Bucky says finally.

"Can you explain good?" asks Rogers.

"Not for being bad."

"You're not bad, kid," Rogers says tapping his nose. "Biting would be a little bit naughty, but not bad."

Bucky wrinkles his nose. "Don't wanna be naughty either."

"Alright, well, if I turned you over right now and spanked you over the seat of your briefs, not for being naughty. Just because, how would that feel to you?"

"Warm," Bucky says for the first time without thinking.

"Good warm?" 

"Yeah... yes, sir."

Bucky definitely isn't prepared for it to actually happen. He yelps and grabs for something to hold on to, but it isn't until he is settled across Captain Rogers' lap that he manages to wrap his hands around the man's leg to feel stable.

"Do you have a safe word, Bucky?"

"Red," Bucky murmurs, "yellow, green. Easy t'member."

"I like those ones too." Rogers rests his hand on the seat of Bucky's briefs.

"Color?"

"Green, sir."

And it starts. Bucky has seen the Captain's muscles once or twice during P.T. He knows he's not spanking full force and that feels nice. Not just because his skin is being gradually warmed up, but because it doesn't feel like a ploy to break him as soon as possible. To prove it can be done, that the difficult sub can be conquered. This actually feels like it's for him. To make him feel good. And it does. That thought brings tears to his eyes and he lifts a hand to wipe them away.

"You crying, kid? This too much?" Rogers asks, pausing with his hand on Bucky's ass.

"Green, sir. I'm good. Promise."

So Captain Rogers keeps going, a steady pace with the same intensity in every swat, letting it build up until Bucky is squirming and whining. The smacks stop, but then Bucky feels a tug at the waistband of his briefs.

"Can I pull these down?"

"Yes, please sir."

The intensity is even more amped up on his bare skin. He kicks his legs. His whines turn to cries. Tears pool in his eyelids before dropped down the bridge of his nose. His skin burns like there is a fire slowly catching across his body. And then the Captain starts to go harder. Bucky kicks. He cries out. He tries to throw a hand back, but Rogers catches it, presses it to the small of his back.

And then something breaks. Bucky goes limp. He sobs. He feels hot and his skin still burns and everything is so intense. He doesn't notice that he is picked up, that they leave the room until he is laying on the bed. After a few minutes, Bucky finds himself pulled on top of the Captain. His briefs are tugged back in place, releasing a new set of tears, and one large hand rubs lazy circles across his back.

Bucky stops crying but doesn't move. He's floating. He feels so good, so fucking good. He stays like that a long time before the Captain gently taps his forehead.

"Can you come back to me, kid?"

Bucky opens his eyes slowly blinking a few times. "Are you a wizard?" he mumbles. 

"No," Rogers says with a laugh, "just a level ten dominant who hasn't gotten to put down a level ten submissive in too long. You're perfect, you know that?"

Bucky hides his face at the compliment, then the other words sink in. He looks back up, right into Captain Rogers' eyes.

"A ten?" he asks.

Rogers nods.

"And you know I am too? How?"

"Only a ten can go eighteen months without dropping and not have crashed tenfold worse than you crashed this evening," Rogers says, tone soft. He brushes his fingers through Bucky's hair. "Was still exceedingly dumb. And you could have gotten very hurt if you'd crashed in the field. But I know how rare it is to find another ten. And I absolutely believe that you tried. But now you've found a ten willing to be your drop partner, so you won't ever have to do that again."

Bucky watches him for a few seconds. "You want to put me down?"

Rogers nods.

"Will... will it affect your job? Like... will you get in trouble?"

"Nope. I have to fill out the necessary paperwork, but it is perfectly okay for a commanding officer to take down submissive soldiers. There aren't drop clinics in the desert. You'd still need to go down at least every four weeks. Sometimes more out in the field. Stress. It's good for higher-level dominants too. Get antsy if we go too long without the contact."

"Can't imagine you antsy, Captain," Bucky murmurs.

"It's not pretty. And... I'd like you to call me Captain or sir when we scene, and obviously when in uniform. But after, like now. Steve is fine."

"Steve," Bucky says trying it out. He looks at the Captain, studying his face. He looks like a Steve. Captain Steve Rogers. Bucky smiles.

"So what do you say?" asks Steve.

Bucky scrunches his nose. "Bout?"

"Letting me be your drop partner. Won't force you. This is your choice, kid."

"Oh. Well, yeah. I mean, yes sir. Uh.. yes Steve?"

And Steve chuckles, "I'll put in the paperwork first thing."

"Thank you, Steve," Bucky says and he gets a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"My pleasure, kid."

**Author's Note:**

> Holler at me on Tumblr! Siriuslyuptonogood


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